If there's one thing everybody seems to agree on, it's that families ought to sit down together to eat a family meal most nights. It's healthier to cook at home; it's a good time to catch up on your days; children whose families eat dinner together are smarter, less likely to do drugs and more likely to graduate from college, right? You must have all heard this.
Easier said than done. We have several barriers to the family meal. My kids go to bed at 7pm at the latest. This means we need to sit down for dinner by 5:30, at the latest. Al usually walks in the door at around 6:30, so already we have problem #1 with 'the family meal.' Also, he walks in the door and wants to change clothes, have a beer, tidy the kitchen (God I love that man), and the put the kids to bed. Notice I didn't say that he wants to sit down and eat at any point there. If I eat dinner at 5:30, then my metabolic demands require that I eat second dinner around 9 pm (Al kindly reminds me that this is a technique sumo wrestlers use to put one weight). Also, Al and I share a deep and (for me, slightly shameful) love of eating dinner in front of the television. Really. I love nothing more than sitting down with a giant plate of something (preferably chinese take-out) and watching trashy tv or movies while drinking white wine and spending quality time with my man. I've never read anywhere that the family meal in front of the tv is wholesome or beneficial...
We have tried several variations of the family meal. I've tried cooking food that everyone will like (this basically limits us to burritos). I've tried bullying Al to sit down to dinner the instant he walks in the door (which means holding the kids off with endless snacks and usually television). I've tried eating a nice meal with the kids and pretending that I'm a single mom. Let Al fend for himself...
Lately we've gone to a 2 step meal plan. This means the kids sit down to a nice, home-cooked meal almost every night, at about 5 o'clock. Shortly after dinner, the bedtime machine is activated and they are usually in the bath or pyjamas by the time Al comes home. He then helps me with stories and bedtime or cleans the kitchen from dinner #1 while I finish putting them to bed. Then he and I sit down to a nice home cooked meal while watching Lost or Mad Men or even Nova or Frontline.
This has provided me with a good opportunity to practice letting go. Letting go of what I think we 'ought' to be doing, letting go of what other people say we should be doing, letting go of an ideal of family life, and just embracing what works right now.
Now I have to go watch 'Star Trek' (the latest movie) and eat dinner...
Also, just because this used to be a craft blog, and not just a place for me to rant about parenting issues, I've been in a doll-making frenzy and I will have pictures soon...
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