Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I read an article

I stumbled across this article on the internet.

Obviously, we are not 'kid-free' but having struggled with the stay-home/work outside the home question for years myself, I have a few thoughts about it.

First is, you have to be able to clean (including clean up after other people) and cook (including for other people) and do laundry (including other people's laundry) without feeling angry, really really angry. If you are a stay-at-home homemaker, and identify yourself as such, then you will be doing a lot (and I mean a lot) of cooking, cleaning and cleaning. And did I mention cleaning? I am not able to do this without anger--at least not for more than a few months at a time.

Second, if keeping home becomes your occupation, then it really helps of the person or people who share your home really really really appreciates it. Otherwise problems with step one (see above) may arise. I think it is almost inevitable that the working outside the home partner will start to take certain things for granted. He or she may come home one day and leave his or her muddy shoes right on the carpet that you just vacuumed, put his or her feet up on the table that you just wiped off and tell you that he or she is not hungry for the labor-intensive meal that you just set on the table with pre-warmed plates and candles ready for lighting. Of course, you can eat by yourself in that situation, enjoying the meal and the nice clean kitchen alone, but again, there is the potential for anger. Great anger.

That's basically it. If it weren't for those two issues (plus the loneliness issue, which I think may have more to do with being outnumbered by little kids in my family so perhaps not applicable to the kidless homemaking issue), I could be a happy stay-at-home homemaker. I like cooking. I don't mind cleaning (occasionally). I like making spaces cozy and beautiful. Lord knows I like crafting. But somehow, doing it all for myself isn't enough. I think I would need a team of deeply admiring appreciators standing by at all times. I haven't been able to find such a team...


Marisa said...

My dream is to be a "stay at home". Not stay at home wife, not stay at home mother... just a stay at home. I could easily amuse myself all day.

stpatti said...

I concur with Marisa! I used to love crafts, but now I don't seem to make the time when working full time. But you & Marisa amaze me!!